


Gr[el]ief

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Series: The Destined Duo Saga [14]
Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dream Meetings, Gen, Gen or Light Slash, Grief/Mourning, Loss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 19:49:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4405202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Doumeki dies, Watanuki expects that's it. That's all. He's alone.</p>
<p>He doesn't expect to see Doumeki in his dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gr[el]ief

**Author's Note:**

> Grief/Relief
> 
> An alternate take on the prompt I did before, because, I would have loved for this to happen too
> 
> I do not own _xxxHolic_. Also don't own _Cinderella_ , which I don't think I've ever even seen. Thanks for reading!

_"No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true."  
_ _\- Cinderella_

Watanuki blinks away the haze of the dreamscape, the split second of where he has fallen into sleep, and focuses on the figure in the distance. Long robe, black hair, familiar build.

"Haruka-san," he greets, tiredly, because it's been a long week, been a long month, actually, and he wonders how he has the strength to dream when he is so tired.

The figure turns around and doesn't smile. There's a distinct lack of expression and cool eyes, and Watanuki's heart seizes in his chest. Doumeki's in his dreams. Doumeki's been gone for three weeks, and Doumeki is in his dreams.

"Doumeki..."

He all of a sudden doesn't have words, and whatever had happened in past lives or the things that he can't do or so around Doumeki don't matter. Because, against all odds, Doumeki's _there_.

Doumeki's dead, and Doumeki's _there_.

"Doumeki... why..." Watanuki swallows, and forces himself to speak. Has to speak. Who knows when he'll wake up. Who knows if he'll see him again. Just this once... just one more time... "Why are you here...?" he breathes - chokes - and takes a few hesitant steps forward, tripping over the robe he wears in this dream. He stumbles forward where it puts him directly in front of Doumeki, and he looks up at him warily. Could it really be...

"Waiting," Doumeki replies, and Watanuki's heart soars at the blunt voice, the one-word answers, the _everything_.

It really is him.

Watanuki suddenly wants to hug him. He does not.

"On what?" he asks. Chokes, gasps, the words are lodged in his throat. It's a miracle Doumeki can make out the words.

Doumeki frowns, only the slightest tightening of the lines on his face giving him away. "What do you think?"

Watanuki doesn't hug him.

He finds himself in tears instead.

It has been a long time since he's found something to cry over. He hadn't even cried after Doumeki's death. The feeling of moisture filling his eyes and then spilling over is all so suddenly abstract. He touches his cheeks, touches his tears, and he realizes _I'm crying_ , and the rubber band of emotions repressed deep within his chest _snaps_ , and he presses his hands over his face and sobs.

He ends up on his hands, and knees, when standing alone is no longer an option, face buried into his arms and his robe, trying to choke back the emotion because he's in control, he's in control, he's fine, it's fine, Yuuko and Himawari and Kohane and _Doumeki_ are fine, and he's not alone he's not the Shopkeeper he's not unchanging unwelcoming unhappy.

Doumeki makes no move to comfort him, just stands there (presumably) and watches him.

That should make him angry. He's secretly glad.

When his wet sobs have been muffled into fabric and skin and he has expended his energy on crying, and mourning, and grieving, he wants to have a conversation with his lost friend, but he cannot dredge up the energy.

Doumeki's presence moves; Watanuki can feel him, feel the brush of his kimono, feel the press of his hand against his back now. And then hand on his shoulder and under his arm and he's bodily pulled up from the ground and into Doumeki's arms. An embrace. Embracing?

Yes.

Watanuki lets himself fold into the hug. There's a shortage of those, and there's a shortage of his friends. He doesn't hug him back; there's something hidden, something engrained in his soul, he can't, even if he wants to, because if he takes ahold of that now, he will never be able to let go.

Even now. "... I don't want to wake up." Was that his voice that was so hoarse, and scratchy, and sad? He had... a wish to fulfill. He needed to wake up, but... he really...

Doumeki seemed to rest his head against his. "You have to," he says, devoid of emotion as usual, and his breath ruffles Watanuki's hair.

And Watanuki knows, simple as that, he will. But: "Not now," he breathes, and pushes himself away from Doumeki's chest and folds himself back onto his own legs to sit in front of Doumeki. "Talk to me."

Doumeki doesn't fix his draping kimono and looks at him. "About what?"

Watanuki closes his eyes and smiles, if not faintly.

"Anything," he breathes.

He will wake up, but for now, he will relish in this dream.


End file.
